Thursday, February 05, 2004
Writing in the Christian context: Contemporary Singaporean Literature
Writing in the Christian context is an attempt to make sense of the identity of Christians in Singapore, in light of the recent and historical conflicts between religious and state interests. It is treading upon the fine balance between exploring a personal faith and conviction about Christianity yet being sensitive to political and national issues regarding religion and race. In this balancing act, there is a certain sense of anxiety whether one can truly reconcile religious faith with the interests of state or even with the individual’s consciousness that is deeply entrenched within the national consciousness. This sense of anxiety is portrayed in the three texts that I will focus upon namely Tan Hwee Hwee’s Mammon Inc., Felix Cheong’s Broken By The Rain and Faith And Lies by Jeffrey Lim. How this anxiety is portrayed is through the texts’ unsuccessful attempts to resolve the tensions between the authorial and dominant presence of the Christian context and the presence of two things. The first is the presence of competing discourses such as multiculturalism and globalism and the second is the very problematic nature of language itself as ironies, parodies and puns serve to uphold the main context yet subvert it at the same time.
i hope the second time would do the trick. this is basically my first par to my thesis.
it seems the as each day goes by, i'm realising how i've reached new levels of stupidity never known by me before. Yet i'm still optimistic as many of the stupid things i've done have no major consequence on my life so i've got at least a chance to change/improve... kick the habit of self-pity?
yeah... anyway just to share this on my blog and hope it will encourage you. the other day i was really depressed because of some shit my bro-in-law did to me. i tried talking to my parents; they said it was my problem so i should deal with it on my own. i tried calling my bf but the phone wasn't working. so it was rather a sad case that i turned to the bible as my last resort. i should have turned to it in the first place but half of the time, i'm filled with a sense of irritation and anxiety that i'm going to be pounded on the head by it. if someone can rewire my brain and my heart to understand the truth, i would be most grateful.
anyway, i turned to the bible and my eyes fell on the passage in matthew 14:22-36. it's the one of how the disciples are on a boat and there is a terrible storm. everyone is so afraid when suddenly they see a figure walking on the water which got them even more terrified because they think they're seeing a ghost. But it's Jesus so it's ok. Then foolhardy Peter calls out to Him and says if He is really Jesus, then He should call him to come to Him. So Jesus says come on then and Peter walks on water, in the midst of a raging storm.
for the first time in my life, i realised that even as my life may be filled with many troubles and worries, just like a storm, i can still survive and literally walk on the waves if i believe in Him and keep my focus upon Jesus. It was extremely reassuring. i knew i should stop my sobbing since it's becoming so silly. So there i was, in a state of calmness without a worry about the whole damn thing, getting ready to sleep.
sigh. He is faithful. i only pray that someday i'll be the person that He can be proud of, definately make that a day before i die.
