krunchypeanuts

Thursday, May 23, 2002

yahoo!! this is the day of the production. when finally all the work is going to pay off and all of us are holding our breath. amazingly yesterday's run was quite smooth. pretty happy. :) but at the same time disappointed with myself for fretting and being like a jittery moron. i just want to trust in the Lord more but now i'm finding the application/practical part hard. will persist never give up.

these few nights i've been eating, breathin, talking and even dreaming production. i can't wait till i can stop this madness. i missed my church prayer's meeting and i feel sad. i so want to be a part of what God's doing. but no more self pity here.. just gotta get up, finish the stuff i've come to do and move on.
the onli regret i have out of this whole production is if it is not part of God's plan for me then i would have laboured in vain. Yet i've met people who have inspired and encouraged me... and i'm so grateful for that. i think i've grown up a little bit more. i'm pushing to 21 this coming july so i should be prepared to cross that threshold into womanhood,...

eeewww.. :) my blabbing is quite crappy today. anyway gotta rush off now and get changed. tata~

posted by happyhannon at 9:03 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 22, 2002

the progress for the play.. sigh.. i don't want to talk about it. being an amateur and this being a school production.. i think.. still doesn't allow room for slacking, non-commital attitudes.. that's as much as i'll like to say today. suffice to say that i'm not only tired, i'm angry and pretty fed-up. ready to throw in the towel if i could have my way..

but that's just plain ole childish me and in reality, i'll just drag on till the very end. why do i do this? cause..

i am insane and don't know when to call it quits really.
i'm a coward i can't speak my mind and be bold.
i have an almost naive faith that since God has a plan for me, i must be here by His purposes so everything will turn out alright. don't know how but it just .. will?

i'm really all the above and it's about losing the battle and winning the war.

posted by happyhannon at 12:01 AM 0 comments

Saturday, May 18, 2002

my cast members.. one by one are all falling sick. throat hurts, sniffling. i'm bringing my cough lozenges and syrups for them to slurp it all up. sigh the poor things. at this point for my play, i think my cast has quite nailed down their individual parts/roles so i'm not too worried. i think tomorrow i'll just get them to tell me their final thoughts on their character and at least one other character of the play. i'm 98% there with the editing of the video. just forgot to put in the subtitle ecclesiastes 12 blah at the last part. i'm doing a short film footage of some verses from chapter 12, then show it before my play so .. it'll be pretty interesting. :)

if anyone's interested to come take a look keep:
this thursday, friday (23rd and 24th May)
7.30 pm free
tickets are at:
12 bucks if you call this handphone number 97383443 and ask for belinda
and 18 bucks if you wanna buy at the door.
alternatively there's the bundle sale that sells two t-shirts and two tix for 55 bucks.
Programme booklets are up to you to decide how much they're worth: you can drop any amount into a nice big fish bowl :)
venue man .. where's the place!!:
hehe almost forgot. YMS Art Centre

what will i be watching exactly huh.. previews previews:
four plays in one production. all original scripts written by University Scholar's students.

muahaha and no more clues now... coz my brain is really slowing down and i don't think i can make it anymore. kinda tired too. decided i shall tell one of my christian gay actors what an oxymoron i think he is... nicely....

posted by happyhannon at 12:58 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 13, 2002

harlow out there.. typing this blog from my sis computer. she's three years my senior, happily married with fantastic cable connection that knocks out my 56kbps anytime. i feel like i'm living in stone age, striking stones to get a fire going when she's got an electric stove.. err... ok not making much sense. today the rehersal went ok. sadly i had to go off after three hours only. evidently not enough time to nail everything down. definately meeting the cast one more time tomorrow. my gf cat who's doing the filming of my video for me.. well she hasn't got it all down. i can get panicky but then it's pretty useless so next best solution is to just rant it all out on the blogger.

when my production ends, i want to take a nice one week break. go swimming. go to east coast park and do some rollerblading with fellow girlfriends. go out with my hannon. tinkle around and maybe... very maybe.. get my website up and going. we will see how. got more things to say here but it might sound real boring to you... it sounds like noise in my ears anyway...

today is a great day. yahoo... :)

posted by happyhannon at 7:30 PM 0 comments

wahhhhhhhhh!!!. guess what time it is now 7.40am. this is so insane. wanting to go back to sleep but boohoo.. too many things that need to be done. hoping to put a newspaper ad of our play on The Straits Times Life! waiting for friend to give me her contact. .. *breathe in.. breathe out..*

posted by happyhannon at 7:40 AM 0 comments

Sunday, May 12, 2002

mother's day and had a superb lunch buffet at park royale orchard hotel. it was an aussie buffet with kangaroo meat, wild boars and sashimi (?) and amazingly sinful chocolate truffle.... but i think i ate too much and had awful stomach pains.. visited the toilet twice :P
the play is going as well as it can be. there are the admin tangles that need to be.. untangled.. but gotta trust God and also work my ass off to get everything running smoothly. i'm also busy with another play for the nus outreach. i have yet to edit the script and must do so by today.

guess a lot of things have happened since i made my last entry.
i just feel that at times, now quite often,
i'm losing my grip and the perspective i had of life and the world itself.
definately shakened and stirred.
somtimes i'm on the go, running
on human enthusiaism is what some people say
to describe the glorious highs and
depressing pits i find myself constantly in.
but sometimes i just feel that
i've come to the end of my rope.
something has to give way.
either my mediocre and stimes hypocritical
acceptance of life
or the desire to just see something happen
something new, radical and eternal.

i don't know really diary. for now, i can't really see my way out of this situation.

posted by happyhannon at 6:47 PM 0 comments

Saturday, May 11, 2002

i'mback from church again. The pastor benny ho was preaching about the book of jonah. this message touched me and made me wake up to the life that is around me.. passing by or just staring at me...
(paraphrasing here)
"one has to dislodge the enemies in our lives and pay the price of holiness and purity. we must ask God also to put the love for our cities in our heart too."
at one point u might have heard me say that i can't wait to get out of singapore - its authoritarian, paternalistic ways - to go explore and carve out a niche for myself in that big, open and free spaces of the world.

but now i think that no matter where you go, if the insides of you don't get an overhaul, you'll most probably be carrying your own prison cell around you whether you're in tahiti or timbatu. then again... i'm staying in Singapore because i tell you... something about the way the sky looks here, the buildings even in their clone like appearances (HDB) or wierd architectural dissonance because of the way the styles really clash (eg: colonial vs. advant garde)... and the people! the people all brown black yellow white "chapalang" Malay for mixture) ... my family.. my friends.

my whole life is here. issues that singaporeans grapple with like what i've just said the paternalistic, over-protective paranoid government really moves me more than anything else. this must be one of God's special tricks to get you to love something that you started out hating in the beginning.

but it's all worth it. obeying and honoring God's wishes are probably the best ways to live life.
just an ending note. i did really well for a couple of subjects in school even though i was busy helping out in setting up the NUS out reach event. i got an A+ for one assignment and an A for another which was a 3000 word essay that took me one night to finish. started work at 8pm and ended at 4am. i never want to do this again believe me but it's simply amazing isn't it... so trust God, honor him and things will work out for you. paddle on peeps...

posted by happyhannon at 1:01 AM 0 comments

Friday, May 10, 2002

hello there again diary. i guess this is just me and you at this late hour. and i like it that way. for once, i can hear myself speaking clearly at the end of another hectic day. had rehersals with my casts again and after just 2 hrs, i had a splitting headache but as they say ever so blase-ly, "the show must go on".

i'm so sleepy and my dark eye bags are getting worse. times like these i really want to stop everything you know. i just want to have time.. please god give me more time.. :). oh yeah...

i'm listening to stacey kent. it's so therapeutic. "the way you haunt my dreams.. no they can't take that away from me". so lovely. heart-moving moment. i'm in love all over again. sorry i haven't much to write but i just miss the times when i can truly ramble on and nobody minds.. u know i like the movie "talented mr. ripley" and yeah u guess right if you said it was the jazz that hooked me. matt damon in my funny valentine was uncanny. sent the goosebumps up my arms.

i love having the feeling of falling in love. it's so funny don't u think that just listening to some music makes all your senses tingle.
happy and tired mood. contented at last perhaps.

posted by happyhannon at 12:14 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 07, 2002

once again. i come here quite worn out at the end of the day. i feel like i'm running on my own strength and that's not a good thing. trust me. When i'm a christian and there's a God that i know i can depend upon... i should not be feeling this way. need to go to that prayer closet and charge up.

i know i may hurt a few asses here with these remarks i'm going to make... but going to say it anyway. I think it's wrong that any church should condone homosexuality. it shocked me to find out that someone i knew who was gay, is part of the worship team in church. maybe the church doesn't know about his sexual inclinations but if they did and they have not even admonish him in love about this.. something is really wrong. scriptures that show God is clearly against homosexuality. Lev18:22. Gen9:5-7. Romans1:26-32 best illustrates the consequence of such a sin.

God's truth has no partiality, no grey areas. Jesus did not come to abolish the law but to fulfil it. only by grace through Jesus Christ can we fulfill these laws (He gives grace to the humble but resists the proud). His grace gives us the power to overcome sin not to dwell in it.. so for all brothers and sisters in christ... let us continue to exhort each other to obey God's laws. well i hope to listen more than i talk so ...

that's about it for today. God bless all.

posted by happyhannon at 7:59 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 06, 2002

you know i haven't taken a bath yet.. yesh stinking girl. i've been trying to create a blogger booger on my own homepage but u can't see it yet! yuppers.. still in the pilot stage.. whatever that means. i'm kinda dreading tomorrow's "panic session": the meeting where the drama committee begins to face reality, sweat/perspire (i don't understand why there should be a difference between the two words) and actually do something. i'm really really tired and to top it all off..

extremely bored. so one..

go tire myself out in all sorts of amusement and get real grouchy in the process OR...

just rest! can I?

posted by happyhannon at 6:00 PM 0 comments

i created this blooger booger yesterday and i did add an entry then... suddenly my friend called me up and he wanted to discuss the play that i wrote/direct. i think criticism is refreshing and generally wholesome but there's the inner you that always cringes at it. I got a little sad and i could only talk to my bf over the phone about it for 5 minutes only (coz it was rather late then and he had to book in reservist training early the next day). i spent 15 minutes on my bed just praying till i fell asleep....
and amazingly i had a really great sleep. :)
i'm a little bonk out right now coz i'm having my first red-letter day. another amazing trivia for you.. i don't have any cramps!! aiyeehaa! :) must be the vigorous swimming at my grandma's place that helped. right now, i'm itching to listen to stacey kent that my bf bought for me... i'll maybe return at night to add another entry... coz i'm itching to write alot of things but i'll take it bit by bit.

i think since i'm itching so much maybe i shld go take a bath right now.. ;)
Labels: peanut facts

posted by happyhannon at 4:15 PM 0 comments

krunchypeanuts...once u pop u can't stop...daily trivia with a dose of social responsibility...a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...let's say we try...oh Lord how we try...