north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.

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Thursday, February 15, 2007

hello.. saying a tentative hello greeting to everyone coz i'm really torn - part of me just wants to curl up and die; the other part just wants a listening ear and hope for the best.

it's crappy work again. i say NOTHING in my life can make me so blue as work that is mindless, meaningless and constantly harassing you. Remember that big project i was involved with last year that i kept whining about? it returned to haunt me just last week and i'm still dealing with the aftermath of it today. apparantly, some budget thing did not go through last year and i was only notified last week.

it doesn't help when there are individuals who constantly remind you how much their students adore them and how quick they are at their marking (and how sllooww you are). and individuals who tell you point blank that you look like a stick.

it doesn't help too when there are outstanding health issues in my life that continue to bug me and worsen everytime i go through a period of stress.

my husband says that i can't take stress very well; He was quick to add that he could not as well so that was honest enough for me. I agree about me not handling stress well. today is slightly better than yesterday coz then, i was in the midst of having an emotional breakdown because of this recurring nightmare of this big project. Much better coz my husband was very patient in listening to me and though he never really has the right words to say but being able to be myself after all that preening and smiling in the office helped.

But in the midst of this i want to remember others as well who have great needs to. my friend sms me to wish me happy valentine's day and we shared abt how work sucked instead. my other friend is affected by the horrible comments of an ex and i have another friend whose mother was admitted in the hospital again because of a serious infection. and i have a friend whose birthday is tomorrow.

i shall continue to pray for all of them. i don't know about my problems though. i just want to leave when it's all done. to be honest, i think i'm very mediocre but that's alright. the thing that i don't think i will be able to live with is if my health worsens. getting depressed is fine. you have to be depressed from time to time to know that you're normal. but my health is something that i don't want to lay down on the line for, especially since i've been working in this line for at least 2 years. i've tried and hopefully, with His blessings, it's time to move on.

song for the day..

posted by happyhannon at 5:16 PM