north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.

May 2002
June 2002
July 2002
August 2002
September 2002
October 2002
November 2002
December 2002
January 2003
February 2003
March 2003
April 2003
May 2003
July 2003
August 2003
September 2003
October 2003
November 2003
December 2003
January 2004
February 2004
March 2004
April 2004
May 2004
June 2004
July 2004
August 2004
September 2004
October 2004
November 2004
December 2004
January 2005
February 2005
March 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
August 2006
October 2006
November 2006
December 2006
January 2007
February 2007
September 2007

Friday, December 08, 2006

Walking home with my groceries and watermelon soy milk in hand, i thought about what it really meant to know and love someone. When you really know/love someone, you don't have to be constantly reminded about what they like or dislike. Almost instinctively, when you look at something you will be able to tell whether they would like it even without them by your side. I like to buy cards and write mushy things to hannon but knowing that he is not into these things, i don't do so. It's not about restricting myself and being miserable about that but about pleasing him and just wanting to do the things that will make him happy. And perhaps with a glance, you will also know what they are thinking about and you'll know immediately what you need to do/not do or to ask what's wrong/interesting. When we are at a social function, i will keep one eye on him and as i speak, i'll try to make sure that i keep him in mind. sometimes he gives me a funny look; oftentimes he clenches his jaw or starts to grind his teeth and i know that i should just stop right there.

and i don't mind doing all these things; having some restrictions to work with and some compromises to make because i love him and i know he loves me in a fashion that i understand and appreciate.

so i'm thinking that this would be what God meant when He said that David was a man after His own heart. That even though there were many times when David felt alone and it seemed that God was a million miles away, David always knew what to do and was completely secure in the knowledge of God's steadfast love.

And i keep reminding myself of this too. i never knew one could measure love by the degree of lack as i have always thought love should be measured by the amount of affection one gives. i'm just going to take my time to walk through this - at least i know this won't last for an eternity. there'll be a day when all these things will make some sense. at least i have that assurance..

posted by happyhannon at 12:52 AM