Friday, May 06, 2005
the most common response i get from people when i tell them that i'm getting married really soon is
"How exciting!"
"Are you excited?/!"
"I'm so excited!"
Hmm.. not to say that i lack enthusiasm or that i am having cold feet... but sometimes weddings can be a burden too. Nevertheless, i have lifted that burden onto the Lord and have also come to see that i have learnt much just by preparing for the wedding. it seems like a prelude to all the greater responsibilities i will have once i'm married. So in a very simple manner, i understand that knowing how to handle the stress in this present situation will eventually do me more good than harm in the long run. So... Thank God for the situation!
Anyway, i do look forward to my wedding. the thought that i'm about to make a decision to spend the rest of my life with that one and only person does not frighten me. I am excited about the journey ahead with that special person who understands me, who i can share my faith and calling with, without any reservation or reproach. Today in the cell group meeting, Pastor Tim shared about discovering God's purpose for our lives and walking in faith, believing and nurturing that call. I didn't share much in the meeting when it was time for everyone to share. Because i think i won't be able to stop talking! That issue had recently preoccupied me for a couple of days. Thank God for His word!
My calling in God was made clear during the third year of my relationship with Hannon. He had just been baptised then and what you would call "confirmed in the faith". I was attending the first prayer meeting of the year and during that meeting, God spoke in an audible voice this one word "teaching". And my dearest hubby-to-be confirmed the word and encouraged me to go for it. Then at the end of last year, i took another step to become involved in the china prayer/mission trips. By the grace of God i hope to go for one trip this year. With all of my heart, I want more of that faith which will carry me through to the end of this journey. The last prayer meeting i had with my tertiary friends only confirmed to me with such a heightened consciousness the fact that everyone has a purpose and a destiny in God: it is only that most of the times we don't see it or understand even half of what God had already planned from the foundations of the earth. Oh what a comfort it is to know that God's plans cannot be thwarted. His Kingdom will be established and we have only to avail ourselves as vessels.
I am excited. Recently in my prayers, i have this sensation that i am standing in an open plain: the possibilities in God are not endless but i see them now as branching out into this amazingly intricate and beautiful skein of connections and patterns. I know it is not my imagination. my mind is bugged by too many cliches that jam up my neurons when they fire. Yesterday, in a classroom of 40 teachers to be, i confused a metaphor with a simile and got corrected in front of everyone by my lecturer. go me. :O)
So all praise and honor belongs to God. without Him in my life, i'll be a mindless prattler.
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