north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.
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Friday, May 27, 2005
yahoo! i'm getting out of this country... for a while. Right now at a free internet terminal in terminal one, waiting for my flight at gate 47. Stopping over at hongkong, we will be transiting to another flight to Narita, Tokyo! I'm excited but a little disappointed coz my period just began this morning. And it sucks to have your period when you are going for a honeymoon trip. Well, will be taking snap shots and uploading them here when i get back.
Just a short note on the school i'm at. I decided to take on the debate society. Have about 3 classes of GP and 1 class of Project work. No form class. Things seem well for the moment.
yippee! i'm off to have my breakfast at coffeebean adios~
Sunday, May 22, 2005
typing this entry at my hubby's parents' place. Yes after the wedding i'm staying with my in laws. So far so good as there aren't any major hiccups... yet. but staying on the positive side, there are a few things why i do like this place.
1. i just finished off a haagen daz ice cream stick. of all the amazing things in this world, a haagen daz ice cream stick coated with thick dark chocolate that conceals a hazel nut filling and as you tentatively take that chomp, little crackling bits on the surface of the chocolate coat that add texture to the smooth mouthwatering taste of chocolate, is a delight that is all the more sweeter coz it's so unexpected. At this rate, i might just begin to finally put on the weight and keep it there. So in a nutshell, i'm being fed quite well here.
2. i get a cable connection on his computer and it's a reward to my many longsuffering years of dial-up connectivity. Although the electrical nodes on the screen are wonked out and most of the time i just get a blue screen... but HEY... staying positive here.
3. i get to see my dearest, to be with him, to do things together, to enjoy his company.It almost feels like we are still dating but this time, i don't have to worry about curfew hours, about returning home tired and planning our next meeting again. i sleep when i'm tired and wake up sometimes in the middle of the night, just to turn over my heated pillow to a cooler side, and still find my dearest right beside me. It could be that i'm staying with my in laws; that's why i have not been confronted with the full responsibility of being married and leading one united life. All of my bills are taken care of. Dinner is prepared by his mum or dad. One easily replaces the shampoo in the bathroom from a store of it; You don't have to worry that you'll ever run out.
I thank God for all the blessings that i've received... yet at the back of my mind, i worry about being too contented. You might think it strange to say that being contented can be a problem but slowly, i'm realising as i live through the 8th day of married life that contentedness without godliness can be a terrifying thing. Not wanting to play linguistic games here but a strange feeling has been nagging at me ever since i skipped religious classes to manage the affairs of my new flat in sembawang. And today on the train towards orchard, i couldn't help but be reminded of it again. Approaching novena, i noticed an asian girl in a brown knitted cardigan, lycra red spaghetti top, blue jeans with a sparkling cord of twisted blue strings wound around her waist. Then a mormon disciple approached and did the usual business of christianity. I marvel at the boldness of the disciple and the openness that this asian girl had towards a complete stranger whilst pondering on the arguments against mormons.
So orchard station came to view and the two ladies made their exit. I got bored and started to scan my surroundings when i finally realised that the african sitting beside me was completing what seemed like an impromptu study of the 7th commandment "Thou shall not commit adultery". Just observing him, made me desirous to read the bible again; to be serious about the Word and hold it in greater respect, with much more patience and tenacity than i have. I wished i could talk to this man. I wished we could have a conversation on the Word of God and share what we thought we knew. Then being married and just enjoying maritial bliss was suddenly not satisfying to me anymore.
ok can't ramble on anymore. hubby wants to serve ebay for his "treasures". till then..
Sunday, May 08, 2005
ok.. my being able to post something today might not make much sense to some people. I have been extremely tardy in answering phone calls and emails. It is true that i am very busy with the wedding.. and busy trying to recuperate strength and sanity... but it is also sadly true that i am trying to squeeze out some space and time for myself to be alone.
it will be unfortunate to be so terribly busy with the wedding that there isn't any time to properly reflect on what i am about to go through. This momentuous ceremony, that's not all about laces and creams, not simply about some traditional and religious gestures but altogether life-altering, is something i want to reflect on the next few days. Actually, it's the next 5 days rather..
i am not expecting to stumble on some earth-shattering truth but in all earnestness, i do desire to come to a greater understanding and hear of God's thoughts of this subject, this "mystery". The other thing that i greatly desire is..
more sleep. abundance of sleep. so good night..
Friday, May 06, 2005
the most common response i get from people when i tell them that i'm getting married really soon is
"How exciting!"
"Are you excited?/!"
"I'm so excited!"
Hmm.. not to say that i lack enthusiasm or that i am having cold feet... but sometimes weddings can be a burden too. Nevertheless, i have lifted that burden onto the Lord and have also come to see that i have learnt much just by preparing for the wedding. it seems like a prelude to all the greater responsibilities i will have once i'm married. So in a very simple manner, i understand that knowing how to handle the stress in this present situation will eventually do me more good than harm in the long run. So... Thank God for the situation!
Anyway, i do look forward to my wedding. the thought that i'm about to make a decision to spend the rest of my life with that one and only person does not frighten me. I am excited about the journey ahead with that special person who understands me, who i can share my faith and calling with, without any reservation or reproach. Today in the cell group meeting, Pastor Tim shared about discovering God's purpose for our lives and walking in faith, believing and nurturing that call. I didn't share much in the meeting when it was time for everyone to share. Because i think i won't be able to stop talking! That issue had recently preoccupied me for a couple of days. Thank God for His word!
My calling in God was made clear during the third year of my relationship with Hannon. He had just been baptised then and what you would call "confirmed in the faith". I was attending the first prayer meeting of the year and during that meeting, God spoke in an audible voice this one word "teaching". And my dearest hubby-to-be confirmed the word and encouraged me to go for it. Then at the end of last year, i took another step to become involved in the china prayer/mission trips. By the grace of God i hope to go for one trip this year. With all of my heart, I want more of that faith which will carry me through to the end of this journey. The last prayer meeting i had with my tertiary friends only confirmed to me with such a heightened consciousness the fact that everyone has a purpose and a destiny in God: it is only that most of the times we don't see it or understand even half of what God had already planned from the foundations of the earth. Oh what a comfort it is to know that God's plans cannot be thwarted. His Kingdom will be established and we have only to avail ourselves as vessels.
I am excited. Recently in my prayers, i have this sensation that i am standing in an open plain: the possibilities in God are not endless but i see them now as branching out into this amazingly intricate and beautiful skein of connections and patterns. I know it is not my imagination. my mind is bugged by too many cliches that jam up my neurons when they fire. Yesterday, in a classroom of 40 teachers to be, i confused a metaphor with a simile and got corrected in front of everyone by my lecturer. go me. :O)
So all praise and honor belongs to God. without Him in my life, i'll be a mindless prattler.
krunchypeanuts...once u pop u can't stop...daily trivia with a dose of social responsibility...a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...let's say we try...oh Lord how we try...