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Friday, October 29, 2004

"you loved me, when i was so unlovely.
...And you bought me at the highest cost.
There's no greater love than this.
There's no greater love than this.
That a man would give his life for a friend"

as we sang that song during worship, the thought came into my mind that if Jesus is truly my friend as I say He is, then i too will give me life for Him. I can't think about this again, this morning, without feeling overwhelmed. How many times i've said Lord I love you but when I'm put to the test, i turn up the hypocrite instead.

Standing there, like a Judas, I wonder at the fact that after all Peter had said and done to the Lord, Peter nevertheless chose to lay down his life for his friend too. Do i dare to believe that such a thing is possible from me? In all my failings and shortcomings...

the wind just blew across my bench and toppled my cup of soyabean milk. Looking up from the computer screen, i see it's beginning to rain again and someone strolls past me, up the stairs into the open as calmly as can be, as if it wasn't drizzling. I'm thinking more of how the sentences will be written than upon the thoughts that i've been meditating upon. my voice is so scratchy today as i stubbornly began my sleep through the night without drinking enough water.

... my friend spoke about this yesterday that in the darkness, we will learn to tarry and find our treasures. There's so much more to learn and come to understand today. Hmm, that's strangely comforting to know.

posted by happyhannon at 8:26 AM