north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.

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Monday, April 19, 2004

sitting on the bus today, coming to school for my last exam, i realised that during the days for preparing my exam, i have been far from God. that admission came out of me not without a struggle. it's easy to just gloss over the mistake as there are so many excuses. postpone the need and opportunity for fellowship to a more convenient time. but fact is fact. yesterday's sermon has affected me in more ways than one. i never really thought that God could be lonely. it was strange to hear God's need for companionship and fellowship being spoken by a pastor. it made God sound almost like us, almost like me. as the pastor spoke, he sounded like one of my friends where the sense of loyalty, companionship, sincerity and warmth is stressed upon more than getting things right, taking the priority in our relationships.

i think the most telling thing about my relationship is God is whenever i'm bored, i'll watch tv, read a book, go shopping, talk to someone... doing everything and being everywhere except being near Him. Hearing what's on His mind. telling Him what's on my mind. honestly, most times its the brat speaking the inane. i'm bored! i clipped my toenails and i'm wondering about pedicures and manicures. never had one God. Boy! that was a good stretch. did you hear my bones cracking when i bent over like that? any chance for a replay?

well, one has to start somewhere. gotta go scramble for the 18th century exam now..

posted by happyhannon at 4:42 PM