north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.

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Sunday, November 30, 2003

phew wat a crazy day. things were going wrong right in the morning when i tried to surprise my babes by buying a gift for him that he wasn't expecting. He sure didn't expect to receive wat i got for him alright. the poor thing is still suffering from the aftermath of sneaky bad surprise enterprise.

then my sister quarrelled with her husband and refused to alight from the car. my mum was the wise one who up and left the car, and walked all the way home. Me and dad just stayed on for a hour while she ranted and raved. it was quite a scary spin on married life. But i realised so many things from their quarrel and i think me and perhaps my dad went away much wiser about our relationships, more desperate perhaps to learn the lessons that life has been teaching us, more willing to listen and being patient.

i guess these few days there's so many things that i can thank God for. When i looked at a Hopper painting today at borders... they are having that yearly sale of calendars to give you a headstart with the new year... i can't remember what the title of that painting was... it was a nature scene, hills and meadows and the... strong blaze of the early morning sun overwhelming defenses and melting ice caps in frigid hearts. Oh it sure was the most optimistic thing among all of hopper's paintings where loneliness in human beings is the constant theme.

But even in the midst of that optimism, there was a sadness i could tangibly feel at the fringes of my consiousness. there was no sight of any human being in that picture. Can we only be happy, perfect and free when there are no humans? It was not only the lack of any human representation in the picture but it was also my loneliness (and perhaps even my own inability too) that prevented me from sharing what i felt was so immediate and inspiring... that made this picture sad.

Even now, i remember something i've read recently that really gripped my attention and then i'll be done for today.
Counsel in the heart of man is like deep
water,
But a man of understanding will draw it
out. Proverbs20:5

posted by happyhannon at 1:36 AM