Monday, August 25, 2003
another quick dose of blogging. feeling kinda guilty for not uploading my thoughts sooner. Well the guilt i'm feeling is more of the procrastination i've been giving to myself. A good idea surfaces in my thoughts and i would know it would be good material for blogging but procrastination gets the better of me.
So even now, i'm blogging this in the midst of other worries like readings, presentations and other school related stuff. But glad i'm making time for this activity..
where am i going with this post?
good question. nowhere actually. the idea of words and rambling thoughts appearing on the screen, from the source of my unconscious state is rather intriguing. as you can see, i've recently been indoctrinated by Freud from one of my "honors" classes. If anyone thought of derrida when you saw those quotation marks around honors, please spare me!
but back to the concrete world, real events if there is ever such a thing. Sunday i went to church with my family - dad, mum, aunt (and) hannon. it was quite an event as my aunt never goes to church. recently, she had been diagnosed with a particular form of arthritis known in short as AS. (pun, irony, sarcasm not intended). She was expecting the worse before this diagnosis as the doctor told her she might have lupus. What is lupus? It's when a person's immune system goes on overdrive and starts to attack healthy cells. If i'm not wrong, "lupus" means(probably french? not too sure...) for wolf. And one of the symptoms of lupus was that patients had a scarring that looked like a wolf's bite...
Apparently, scarring was not one of the worst symptoms an individual could have. Lupus patients could suffer from organ failure or even go insane. It's treatable but not curable and one would have to be on medication as long as they lived.
So you can see why my aunt got depressed, so depressed that her friend's son came to stay with her for a week to comfort her. My aunt is single. Divorced and her husband attends my church with his wife. He says that they couldn't work out because my aunt had a radical change in sexual orientation. I would rather reserve my judgement on this. firstly, my aunt never admitted it. I've never seen her "girlfriends" before. My family is quite liberal actually, considering my uncle with his guy are integral members of the family. This means that my aunt could bring along her gf to our family meetings without much fuss. (ok that's not a very good point).
anyway, that's all in the past. But things were starting to get a little strained when my aunt met her ex-husband in church. at the end of the service, a pastor prayed for my aunt's illness but he spent more time praying for her depression and state of mind instead. As he prayed and i joined in as well, i could feel God's love being poured out on her. When someone whom you love does something or says something so wonderful, you feel in your guts that you're being loved, a physical sensation courses through you. Could be the endorphins. :) But that's exactly how i felt when i was praying for my aunt too, just multiply that a couple of times.
God is amazing.
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