north-american possums! work fatigue grouses; singaporean; ex-poet and writer; former convent girl; converted, convicted and painfully quiet; bibliophilic; skyscrapers; weather-talk; dining alone on sashimi; your life with Jesus; banging heads with problems; looking from afar; loving my xiongmao; peanuts & anchovies; battlestar galatica; novella dreams and paranoai: holding onto you.

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Monday, August 19, 2002

hmm. feeling a little down right now. somehow, i feel like my life's a total fake. i'm not being honest with myself about my feelings, my thoughts... somehow, i feel i'm censuring myself every single moment, resulting in this pretty empty soulless shell.

perhaps it's because i can't write anything. i've fallen into a quagmire of inarticulateness. i'm suddenly aware that my grasp of the english language is barely adequate for me to really express how i feel right now. i'm being pulled at all sides, and i'm going nowhere.

Perhaps this too shall pass. perhaps it will not and reality is made up of broken dreams and failings. i know i really should go back to my books coz i've got a language quiz tomorrow and it's already quite late...

yeah i do well enough in my exams and term papers but when it comes down to the heart of it, i'm really divorced from myself and any passion that i could feel is muffled and wrapped up, packed into boxes, tied in plastic bags, thrown down the chute, forgotten out of time and mind.

If all this is just a phase, it's certainly been too long.

posted by happyhannon at 12:53 AM