Thursday, June 20, 2002
i have the continuous taste of blood in my mouth. no blood curling thoughts for you but my wisdom tooth got cranked out and the wound's crinkling with the occasional taste of tomato juice, everytime i slurp back...
ok it's gross. :)
i'm still hankering for my indian food. i'm still mindful of an adventure for my life yet i'm busy doing nothing. i borrowed a couple of great books to read. i got an article to write for my church newsletter about the church camp.
something yesterday got me really excited. though i didn't write it down immediately coz i always get extremely lethargic around the house when i return home. i don't know why but after dinner, the next thing i'll do is just lie down on my bed, think of something far out and then the zzzs begin to creep in. so it always ends up that i take my bath and brush my teeth around 2am?
i may be going to the philippines at the end of this year for a some-sort of mission trip. and i'll be going with my other drama mates to reach out to the varsity people there in "bargio" (not 2 sure of the spelling). the news was pretty sudden but i'm not too taken aback. i just feel it's quite natural for me to do this. it's like an unconscious smooth progression from my school play to this. but then there's a hidden confession i've not made to my church mates. i don't like drama. i just do it because it's something like a halfway house for me, artistic sense. poetry is always first, then prose and then dialogue.
i'm just down on my luck these few.. days.. months.. coming to a blardy year to the last poem i've written.
my output is truly pathetic. i woud have a thought but the magic or the discipline isn't there for me long enough to transform thought into verse form. but i do have my thoughts so i save any creative juices i have into the next most available output and that is a script.
how do i explain this. a script to me is a cup of tea. like popping a coke can. caramel,water,caffeine,soda,blah. but a cup of coffee. you got to get the steaming of the milk at the right temperature, for an exact amount of time. then you got to know is it the milk comes first then the coffee or which. and you can't be lazy and just microwave your milk then pour it over your coffee. it's just not the same . then the beans. are you making a mocha, an espresso or just a skinny latte... what is skinny?
you have to ask yourself lots of questions. you got to make sure that the blend of circumstances, on-hand materials and ambience are swirling at the right temperature, in the right direction...
sigh i hate this whole coffee metaphor thing. though most of my impressionable age was spent in cafes and absorbing coffee molecules with the folds of my clothes and skin, i think it's blardy time i move on to.. what..
bubble tea????
anyway.. i'm really excited about this bargio thing, whether i'm going as a drama team or not. i have not been travelling for ages and the renovated causeway made me gasp like a sua-ku. i have not had a vision for a very long time. nearly all the time i feel like an amoeba. very very sad. and now something challenging is materialising in front of me. yes storm or tempest, this lil boat is getting sick of the placid lake.
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