krunchypeanuts

Monday, July 31, 2006

Leaving work early

cooking pasta:
as the evening wraps its
arms around the hills,
the breezes sigh with contentment.
Distilled, chilled tones of grey
bathe the surroundings in longing.

how i have schemed and manipulated others
for this moment to be mine:
to wait and watch the swelling
of the tide; my thoughts dancing
in the candle light; the birds' last
song in flight as words are printed
on the page.

and i have no regrets in distressing you over
and over again: the cars that caress
the sweet tar, the children with their
bicycles journeying
into the dusk, the altar lights of devotion
from pin-sized apartment windows.

Leaving work without guilt;
knowing my god-given right.
Labels: writing

posted by happyhannon at 7:25 PM 0 comments

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

I've been depressed for the couple of weeks. Amazing how work drains all your convictions and spirits. I know it shouldn't be this way and i'm still trying to understand the situation better but i'm at my wits end. In my lowest moments, i always feel that i'm not good enough; that i can't keep up; that i don't have the strength to carry on. And every mistake i make, even if it's truly a small one, seems like the end of the world.

But i'm slowly crawling out of the ditch by the grace of God. But the process is painstakingly slow. I can take 10 steps forward and go back 9 steps. Optimistically, I'm at least taking a step forward. And that's an encouragement for me. Reading today's devotion from Charles Spurgeon, I was moved by the verse from matthew 12:20 and isaiah 42:3 "A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out". Indeed, what king David said is true "Your gentleness have made me great". Although I am nowhere close to feeling or being great but even so at my breaking points, I know that He will be there and I will be safe.

That's all i need.
Labels: inspiration

posted by happyhannon at 9:08 PM 1 comments

krunchypeanuts...once u pop u can't stop...daily trivia with a dose of social responsibility...a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...let's say we try...oh Lord how we try...