krunchypeanuts

Wednesday, December 24, 2003

i guess God had answered one of my little prayers today. i prayed that when my bro in law and my boyfriend met each other at my dad's birthday dinner, they would not quarrel and that the peace & love of God would reside in our hearts.
Well they didn't speak to each other but at least none was giving the other the evil eye.

For that i'm very thankful and i don't feel like complaining about anything. the car was speeding down the road near novena square. i looked up from where i was sitting and saw a patch of pink sky in the midst of greyish blue clouds. I wish i could describe this scene better but just imagine seeing this pinkish patch and yet, at your eye level all the city lights are running streaks past the corners of your vision. a fracture in the sky, in its very heart, emits a lovely pink halo. is there any hope that God would one day rend its very heart and pillage it for hope. And the city lights came to represent my habitual dwellings and routine lovings. the friable strain between hope and futility could have become an apt moment of another person's literary greatness.

But i am wanting something more than that. as always. i long to one day just let my hands and arms sink into the depths of what hope really is, to be swallowed whole in His goodness. To walk right into the sky and see beyond the veil of that pink halo.

posted by happyhannon at 2:11 AM 0 comments

Monday, December 22, 2003

i'm on my own again. and again, i'm broke too. hehe. that basically explains why i've been sustaining on hbo, star movies and travel&destination, packets of instant noodles and convenient pasta dishes... man i've basically turned into a veggy.

alright i'm gonna apologise to myself for crapping boring stuff as usual. i always tell myself girl watch how the notes slip out of your hands, the coins that mindlessly go into buskers' hands and impulsive binges on exorbitant coffees.

but then again, i tell myself that it's all worth it. Just for the company, just for the simple and albeit expensive joys. they are fleeting no doubt. But even as i sit here in my house and hear the usual chiming of windbells accompanying my fav. cd of the moment, life is good still.

and now, if only i could do it all over again. or if not, then let me do something that i've never done before. This does not mean bungee jumping or getting tattoos. And that's my wish for the new year.

God you are real and i want to see you.

posted by happyhannon at 5:26 PM 0 comments

Thursday, December 18, 2003

this is for those who have been trying to reach me via my frecklesmile account. kindly don't send anymore mails there coz the server really sucks. i can't open up any mail. keep on getting error message from the weedmail server.
thus, send all your ranting and ravings, your most abhorring secrets *tagline stolen from the movie "little women". i'm a sentimental freak* to hannonyc@yahoo.co.uk
hannonyc: the two things i love about this world. hannon my babes and new york city *NYC BOY! hate that petshopboys song its so campy and gay but i'm sadly not immune*.

alone at home... wonder who or wat will keep me company for the night. not many choices. tv, internet, book, bible, God, sleepy zzzs, jazz, telephone, journal, thesis *shudder*...

i can't help but feel the days are getting shorter. Perhaps the Lord's coming is just round the corner. time gets sucked into an increasingly narrow stream till there's nothing left but Him, standing there. alright, my metaphysical inclinations are kicking in. i have to excuse myself for a moment.

posted by happyhannon at 6:41 PM 0 comments

i don't know where i've been, or what has kept me away from this little cyber turf for so long. but i'm back. yes. perhaps it has to do with the lovely pcs here in the com lab. the keys are so springy that you unconsciously enter into this typing mood.

back in school. i find inspiration in the level three of the central library. everything smells wonderfully new and the lounging chairs so comfy. light streaming in from the glass windows.the whole room is so bright and cheery! bing!

other than that, it really really sucks to be in school.

it's the blardy holidays! the first time i'm ever mugging in the holidays. even back in secondary school, i barely touched my holiday homework. it's ridiculous. i refuse to be subjected to any form of labour or intensive spans of concentration where i generally writhe in agony and frustration. that's wat school terms are for: to deploy the army, to fight the battles of essays and presentations, to create subterfuge, frustrating the enemies' ploy or if unfortunately, internal politics.

now i just want to camp and perhaps do a little training, get the body into shape or something like that.

i haven't even been up to my usual urban wanderings. i have not really had the time to pick up a book and read for leisure sake.

some people do say the most absurd thing like work is fun! rewarding! invigorating!

i wander what happens when they're not doing anything. do they get depressed?

how absurd everything is... how absurd i'm becoming too. now the only lovely prospect of life i'm looking forward to, is the long bus ride i'm going to take home from school.

if you're reading this and are getting worried about my state of mind, don't be. it's all mush for now. :P STOP!

posted by happyhannon at 11:27 AM 0 comments

krunchypeanuts...once u pop u can't stop...daily trivia with a dose of social responsibility...a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down...let's say we try...oh Lord how we try...